It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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