He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
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