You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize