i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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