I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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