I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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