I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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