i barfeds in our rink
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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