tell your sister to shave her snatch
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize