not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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