you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
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