I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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