why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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