i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
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regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Just high enough for therapy.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
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