so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
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I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
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I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
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