You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize