8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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