Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize