I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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