i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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