Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
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