The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
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