Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize