you win again, gameday.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize