I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
My pussy is not your playground.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
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I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
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Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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