Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize