sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize