forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize