I accidentally burped into my bong.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize