Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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