got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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