I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
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