woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
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I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
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One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
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