That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I party with great urgency now.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize