My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i would punch a child for taco bell
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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