Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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