So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
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Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
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