this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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