You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
We had sex on a dog bed..
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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