Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
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giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
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okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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