She is in my trunk
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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