Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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