Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
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