This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize