i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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