If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
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I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
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I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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