does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
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