end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
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