this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Your penis caused this!
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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