Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
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I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
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The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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