Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize