you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
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