none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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